I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
