i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just want nice things and good sex
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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