I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
