I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
