Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
