So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
