It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
