I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You pole danced in your parka.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
