dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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