Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize