have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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