yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize