You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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