I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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