Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
