Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
