And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
