Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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