we're blogging at a bar
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
