Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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