I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
