I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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