im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
