Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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