Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Everclear isn't food dammit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
