Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
