do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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