Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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