I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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