Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize