evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
