oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
