so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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