He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize