I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
