I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
