my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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