remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
