Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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