Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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