that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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