His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
