Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
