Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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