In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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