No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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