that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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