R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
