I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
