I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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