ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
