google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
