It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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