I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The Olympian is in my bed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
