I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
