we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
