This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
