tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
