in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize