The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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