No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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