I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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