Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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