I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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