Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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