Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
