I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
