My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
