Your tits are I can't wait for
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
